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Managing Societal Comparison Structures

Over the weekend, my thoughts turned to comparison. Our society was built on competition and judgment of one’s value based on predetermined criteria. We were taught from the time we were very young to compare ourselves to others and feel shame, embarrassment, and not-good-enough if we didn’t measure up. This forms the bedrock of our entire System. The question that was presented to me twice over the weekend and triggered the not-good-enough gremlin was “what’s the size of your platform?” This question, depending upon my answer, determines if I’m “good enough” for an opportunity or not.

There were two seemingly separate incidents: 1) I was due to co-host a Facebook Live show with a friend and he ultimately chose to do it on his own because I don’t have a big enough platform; and 2) I am starting work on a book proposal and as part of that proposal, I need to provide a marketing plan that includes the size of my platform. These two incidents forced me to take another look at my resistance to marketing and getting myself out there in a bigger way.

I started my coaching business in 2016 and “should” have more of a following and list, but I’ve had an aversion to marketing. I’m pretty sure I’ve been burned at the stake a few times in past lives. I have a pretty intense reaction deep inside me at the thought of posting my face and ideas all over the place, with the intention of gaining “followers” (I even have aversion to that word), no matter how valuable my content. In the early days of my business, I would sit down to work on a click funnel and would literally cry at my computer because the resistance was so intense. I finally succumb to the voice that told me I couldn’t do it and decided to stick with writing blog posts. I am a writer by trade and writing is my comfort zone.

In addition to my aversion to social media and marketing, there is also part of me that feels resentment towards the societal System of comparison, and with that resentment comes an inner snotty little kid who crosses her arms defiantly and says, “I’m not going to play your game.” But that attitude hasn’t helped me. It has kept me from sharing my message and serving Love in the way that I’m being called to.

I know that I have a powerful message to share in the book that I will publish in the future. In order to get it out to those who can benefit from it, I need to go through The System. In order for The System to accept me, I need to do the marketing that is so uncomfortable for me. Going through this process pushes me to grow and release negative past programming that would tell me that “I’m not good enough” or “I have nothing of value to offer.” In the past, those two incidents over the weekend would have only exacerbated my resistance and I would have high-tailed it in the opposite direction. But now I’m feeling the effects of all of the healing I’ve done over the past several years. These incidents acted as an opportunity for me to make a different choice. I know that it’s a soul calling to publish this book and I finally feel ready to do whatever it takes to make that happen – even click funnels. *deeeeep breath*

The important thing is to ensure that everything that I create for marketing or otherwise is true to my soul’s intention. It’s not because I’m comparing myself to others or trying to feed my ego. It’s because my hard-earned wisdom can help others on their journey. My message is of value just because it’s uniquely mine. The intention is to be of service in Love, and apparently, this is how it’s going down.

As I’m writing this, it is occurring to me the synchronicity of those two incidents that lit a fire under my ass. As I’ve mentioned many times in previous blogs, I live my life according to synchronicities because they act as a guide posts, showing me the way. I get such comfort from living this way because it reminds me that I don’t have to know where the end destination will be. I just have to take the next step and trust that in perfect diving timing, the next step will be shown. Love that!

Some things for you to ponder:

  • Where are you resisting your calling in life and what healing needs to be done in order to overcome it?

  • Where are you comparing yourself to others and how can you let that go?

  • How can you embrace and share your uniqueness for the greater good?

I invite you to subscribe to my website so you can stay updated on new blog posts and other valuable things that I will be creating in the coming months. Thank you!


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