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It's Okay to Be Stuck

I’ve talked to several people over the past several months that know deep down that something needs to change in their life, but they aren’t ready to take a huge Leap of Faith.

I wanted to address this, because I think it’s really important. Sometimes, it’s okay to be stuck.

Change has to happen when you're ready for it. If there’s major resistance, it’s important that you listen to that feeling and honor it.

The thing is…change starts from within. This means that if you are really serious about making change in your life, you can start where you currently are.

I'll give you an example from my own life.

My second husband and I were married in the year 2000. We had a fairy tale kind of love until he came home from his tour in Afghanistan in 2003. He came back a changed man. We struggled for many years – 6 to be exact. There came a point where I had to accept things as they were. I was faced with a choice – to leave my marriage or to stay.

I chose to stay. I did not want my daughter to be pulled between two households and I was committed to making it work…somehow.

It was about this time that I first saw the movie, The Secret. I decided to implement its teachings into my life and do what I could do to create happiness where I was at. I was going to stop acting like a victim of my circumstances, and instead, take my power back. I was determined to create my own happiness.

Here are some of the things that I did:

  • I started meditating. I started with as little as one minute at a time and when I was comfortable with that, I added a couple more minutes until I could sit for 45 minutes at a time. This was by far THE most beneficial thing I ever could have done for myself and I am still a huge proponent of meditation today.

  • I inundated myself with positivity. I retrained my brain to focus on the good in my life and the things that I wanted to create, instead of what was wrong and what I couldn’t control.

  • I downloaded the movie The Secret and would put it on in the background on my iPad when I was cleaning, getting ready in the morning, making dinner, etc.

  • I created a playlist with upbeat, empowering songs.

  • I created a mantra that I would use as a pattern interrupt for negative thoughts. My mantra was “expect great things.” Sometimes I would have to repeat it over and over again.

  • I journaled. Journaling is one of the best way to work through issues. It helps to bring up thoughts and feelings that are usually hidden, yet are running the show. Once these thoughts are brought into the light of day through journaling, they can be dealt and released so they aren't in control anymore.

  • I started doing things to make myself happy. I signed up for Bikram Yoga, which I loved! I felt strong, healthy, and fit, both mentally and physically.

  • I started relating to my husband in a brand-new way. I didn’t take things personally anymore, and therefore, let go of the defensiveness. I refused to engage in the way that I always had and when I removed that victim energy, it changed the dynamics of the relationship. By simply removing the victim mentality that elicited a defensive response, I was now empowered to react differently. (A side note – the Energy Leadership Index Assessment shows you how your energy is influencing your relationships and empowers you to change it, just like I did. Follow the link for more information or to sign up for the Assessment and Debrief with me.)

What happened surprised the hell out of me. What I wanted was to somehow be content in my current situation. But what actually happened is that I became stronger, more courageous, more powerful, and more confident (I learned that a side effect of meditation is embodying more of your true self). Eventually, I was ready to let go and without any fanfare. It just happened one day without anxiety, trepidation, anger, or sadness. It happened in a moment without any forethought. Because I had done so much inner work, the day came when I was just ready to let go. And surprisingly enough, Josh was ready, too. Our divorce was finalized without lawyers - a true miracle!

All of this happened because of the changes that I first made within myself by reprogramming my mind. I was able to align with the vibration of what I wanted. As my vibration changed through my inner work, I didn’t align with my husband’s vibration anymore and we were able to part ways.

So, if you are stuck in a situation that you are not ready or able to remove yourself from, I get it! There are times for big Leaps of Faith and there are times to stay put until you’re ready. Only you can decide what is best for you. But if you can start to create change by going within, you’ll be surprised at how your external world will also change. You’ve got the power to be happy now!



P.S. Check out my individual and group coaching opportunities on my website and let me support you on your quest to live true to soul!

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