If I asked you to make a list of your most foundational beliefs, could you? Most of us don’t take the time to think about it.
But we should.
If you don’t know what your foundational beliefs are, take a look at your life. What do you love about your life? What do you dislike about your life? How happy are you with your job, relationships, free time?
Our beliefs and our experiences form the foundation for what we create. When I say “create,” I’m referring to the subconscious beliefs and corresponding feelings and emotions that form the blueprint that we use to energetically build everything in our life – whether we know it or not.
Let me show you how this works. Let’s say that you have the belief that “I was abandoned.” For the sake of this example, let’s say that your father left the family and the resulting belief was “I was abandoned by my father.”
It’s understandable that your father’s actions would be incredibly painful to go through and could result in a fractured self-image. However, it doesn't have to be this way.
There are many reasons that a father might leave his family but NONE of them have to do with you, no matter what words were actually said. Actions such as these are never personal. They affect you, of course, but choices are made based on their fundamental beliefs about themselves and their cumulative experiences.
By concluding that “I was abandoned,” you have adopted his actions as your own and have identified as a victim. The underlying belief is “he left, and therefore, I wasn’t good enough for him to stay.” Your ego desperately wants to protect you from being hurt again and creates protection mechanisms in an attempt to keep you safe.
As you move forward in life, you’re carrying around a wall of protection around your heart. This core belief also affects the relationships with those who are currently in your life who love and care for you. No matter how much love and support they give you it’s likely not enough because you’re not able to see it. All you see is someone who will most likely abandon you eventually. So you view everything through the lens of “you’re going to abandon me.” You may become controlling and try to force the other person to do things to help you feel safer and less likely to be abandoned, but that backfires. People want to be loved for who they are and dislike being controlled. The person gets angry and, because your protection mechanism doesn’t allow you to take responsibility (it’s your dad’s fault, after all), they may elect to not spend as much time with you, and again, your belief has been substantiated.
This is why it’s imperative to analyze our beliefs and follow them to the root cause the best we can. Once we discover the core belief gremlin “I was abandoned,” we are empowered to change it. This awareness is key because it’s a program running in our subconscious energetically creating situations again and again to substantiate that belief. We need to consciously choose to let go of that belief and replace it with something more beneficial.
The thought process might go like this:
“I wasn’t abandoned. My father made his decision based on his own defense mechanisms. It really had nothing to do with me. It was unfortunate that his decision affected my life but he made his choices and I’m free to make mine.”
See how this shifts the belief from personal and victim-based to objective and empowering? This one shift can send your life down a whole different trajectory.
Forgiveness is also an important step in healing this core wound. Forgiveness doesn’t condone the actions of another but is an energetic release of the negative energy that binds the two of you. It acknowledges that we are all spirits living a human experience and ultimately, we are all connected. We are here to learn and grow and these types of challenging experiences offer the gifts of developing courage, resilience, compassion, understanding, tolerance, and strength.
After you have gone through this process, I suggest going through a releasing ceremony as a “rite of passage” from one way of being to another. You can do this by following the steps below:
1. Write down the old beliefs and be as brutally honest as possible. Get all of the ugly out on the page.
2. Write down the new beliefs as something that is true, for example, “I am loveable,” “I am worthy,” “I am enough,” “I choose to embody these truths and create my life from this foundation.”
3. Write down any other thoughts having to do with forgiveness or release or what you would like to create in your future.
4. Burn the paper. Ask your spirit guides, angels, and higher self to help release you from the energy of the past so that you can create a happier, more fulfilling future.
5. Then, if you can, it’s nice to have something to commemorate this ceremony. For instance, after conducting a ceremony, I purchased a ring as a symbol of my “rebirth.” It could be a rock you pick up off of the ground or anything else that can serve as a reminder to you that you are releasing that which doesn’t serve you.
After following the path to the core wound, acknowledge it, forgive and release it, and choose a different belief, you will begin to notice that certain situations trigger the old “abandonment” tape. This is to be expected because you’ve lived with that paradigm for a long time. It will take a while to override that belief. That’s okay. Each time you notice yourself being triggered, send love to the inner child that created that belief and tell it that you choose to believe something more empowering. You may want to have a sentence memorized such as what I wrote above to reinforce the new belief. It will take some time but as you heal, you will notice different people coming into your life and that your current relationships are more harmonious. You’ll feel more confident and self-assured. Your world will begin to shift and change to mirror your new, positive beliefs.
If you need any support working through this process, book an appointment with me by clicking here.
Love and light,