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Releasing Judgment Towards Self and Others

In my last blog post, I talked about the Energy Leadership Index and its energy levels. I talked about how letting go of the lower energy levels would drastically impact your life and the world around you. I suggested that it starts with one step towards love.

When I conduct Energy Leadership Index Assessment debriefs, the place where 99% of people get stuck are levels 5, 6, and 7. This is where the idea of non-judgment is introduced. When I was first introduced to the ELI, I didn’t get it either. It was a very difficult concept for me to wrap my head around and it’s no wonder!

Our society programs us to judge and compare when we are very young. Just think about our schooling system. When my daughter was in first grade, she wasn’t as good of a reader as other students. Her teacher called a meeting and told me I should hold her back and have her repeat first grade. I refused because, well, she was 6 for god’s sake! Give her a minute! Turns out that was the right call because it didn’t take long before she was reading at a college level.

As we move on through school, we are taught to compare grades, extracurriculars, the number of friends, economic status, and the list goes on. This is how our society has been structured - the separation and competition of me against you. Fighting for resources, popularity, college entry, the perfect spouse, we grow up believing that this is normal and the only way to function. We don’t know another way.

This judgment is also found in our religious institutions. We are taught that when we die, if we don’t follow the rules, we will be judged by God and could suffer unimaginable horrors. Even if you didn’t grow up religious, it permeates throughout the culture. The result is the program that we must do what we’re told and be who we’re told to be or suffer dire consequences.

Living in this paradigm of fear, judgment, comparison, and separation results in feelings of negativity, including unworthiness, unhappiness, dissatisfaction with self and others, unrealistic expectations of self and others, victimization, etc., etc. Since this way of being breeds such misery, why is this continuing? Because the folks in power know that proliferating judgment of others, and therefore, separation and division, allow them the means to manipulate and control and further their agendas. Because what’s on the other side of judgment? Acceptance. Oneness. Love. If we felt this way about ourselves and others, our world would look very different, wouldn’t it?

This is an incredibly difficult concept because in order to practice non-judgment, we have to step out of our society’s constructs and our human tendencies and view people and experiences through the eyes of our souls. This is a place where there are no good or bad, just experiences.

Think about something that you regret in your past, something that has been hard for you to let go of. Think about how harshly you have judged yourself for that thing and the emotions that go with that judgment – shame, self-hatred, embarrassment, etc. Now imagine that there are no good or bad, only experiences to learn from. How might your perception of that experience change? What would it feel like to let go of the shame and regret? How might that impact your life?

When we carry emotions like shame within us from previous experiences, it tends to be subconsciously projected onto others. This is the cycle. Because you were judged and shamed, whether by yourself or others, your ego tries to compensate by judging and shaming others. This is where the saying, “hurt people hurt people” comes from. When we carry the negative emotions within us, they go somewhere. They either manifest through Level 1, which is internal judgment and hatred, or Level 2, which is external and sometimes they manifest through both levels. Either way, these emotions manifest in some sort of violence towards self or others. Those emotions and the negative energy associated with them are what permeate from us out into our world because at a quantum level, we are all connected.

Back to the idea of viewing circumstances and experiences through our soul’s eyes. We are all energetic, spiritual beings, here on Earth to have an experience. We came here with a soul blueprint that includes certain experiences and relationships in order for us to learn and grow. We chose to come here at this tumultuous time on Earth, well, because we’re badasses. We chose an advanced course in Earth School. It’s a pinnacle, transformational time where we get to choose how we want to move forward. We are being faced with similar circumstances seen in the history books of our past but in ways that seem scifi. If you look at the black and white of what is occurring, you’ll see that it’s a similar dance of fear and separation, power and control, dressed up in modern clothes.

We are at a crossroads. Do we want to continue down this road? Do we want to continue to live in the human construct of the lower energetic realm or do we want to begin to let go of past beliefs that don’t serve us anymore and begin to step into our higher soul nature? Can we allow ourselves to loosen our grip on our ingrained ideas of “right” and “wrong”? What if we stopped perpetrating abuse on ourselves and others and, instead, accepted everything that has happened as opportunities from which to learn and grow?

You’ve been through hell and back in many ways. You ARE a badass! But so is the person next to you in the grocery checkout line and the person you’ve been judging for having beliefs that you can’t quite understand. We’re all here doing the best we can with the unique experiences we’ve had from the time we were born. And no one, not even siblings, experiences things in the same way. That’s part of the beauty of our existence. Each one of us contributes to this energetic soup in our own way. What ingredients would you prefer to add to this soup? The Level 1 and 2 ingredients of fear, anger, hatred, division, and separation or the Level 5, 6, 7 ingredients of non-judgment, synthesis, acceptance, and unconditional love? Perhaps it’s time to explore another way.

With much love,


P.S. - A funny side note - I looked up the word "nonjudgment" and it actually doesn't exist. Wow.


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