2017 has been a chrysalis year for me. I deconstructed myself into a big blob of goo and have (not-so-patiently) attempted to create a new life as a beautiful butterfly.
In order to re-create my life as I wanted it, I spent a lot of time revisiting my past. I have gone through several “life reviews” where I have analyzed every significant event and relationship in my life, using the same steps included in my Release, Revive, & Renew program. These emotional journaling sessions were followed up with acceptance, forgiveness, and release.With each iteration, I felt like I was freeing more space within myself for the love and happiness I wanted to bring into my life.
Through all of the intense inner work I was doing, I wasn’t seeing the results that I had expected. I knew there was some underlying fear in there, but I was facing it. I was cleaning and clearing and forgiving and releasing, everything the great teachers say to do. Why wasn’t I getting results?
I know that the energy that we put out is what we get back, so I had to accept that the outer conditions of my life were self-created. I realized that the fear issue must be bigger than I could consciously see. Somehow I was subconsciously creating a feeling of fear that was impacting everything I do, and no matter how much cleaning and clearing I was doing from my past, this subconscious feeling was haunting me.
I was determined to figure out what was holding me back. I journaled about it. I prayed about it. I meditated on it. And finally, the answer came to me.
My fear is a habit!
I have been afraid since I was 18 years old. It has unknowingly been a constant companion ever since. It is so ingrained and habitual that I didn’t know it was there. I realized that I didn't know what it feels like to not be afraid!
This fear had become a part of my personality and a huge block between me and my happiness.
I had assumed that when I faced my fear head-on, I would be released from it. But, instead, my fear followed me and has been threatening to sabotage this new life that I have been painstakingly attempting to create.
This was a HUGE “ah-ha” epiphany for me.
This fear is something that a much-younger Lara experienced and I didn't have to carry that anymore. I could choose another way of being. I could choose to release this emotional ghost.
Now that I am aware that the fear is something from my past, when it arises, I can treat it as such. I can bless it for trying to help me, but inform it that it is nothing but a ghost, and release it. Then I'm free to choose the feeling of trust in the Universe, knowing that All is Well.
What emotional ghosts are haunting you from the past? Consider some of the issues you are struggling with today. Could any of them be rooted in emotions from long ago and not from the YOU that you are today?
Love and Light,
P.S. If you’re ready to let go of what isn't serving you so you can create a new, happier, more vibrant, joyful life for yourself in 2018, contact me today!