Updated: Mar 23
I’ve been going through some crazy stuff lately. I’ve gone through so many life changes, I hardly know who I am anymore. I could compare it to something like a Six Flags rollercoaster ride that tends to end with nausea and projectile vomiting.
I’ve observed myself go through this emotional time, wondering when I'm going to wrap up the emotional drama so I can get on with life. Has that ever happened to you? When you’re in the midst of a tantrum because something didn’t go your way, and you KNOW you’re acting like a pissed off 2-year old?
Yep. That’s where I’ve been at lately.
As an observer of my very questionable adult temper tantrums, I recognize that they are largely due to unrealized expectations. Expectations of myself. Expectations of others. Expectations of my hopes. Expectations of my diligent Law of Attraction affirmations put out to the Universe for my immediate gratification.
WHY DOES NOTHING WORK THE WAY I WANT IT TO?!?!
Now, you’d think after all I’ve been through in life, especially in relationships, I would be used to things not going as planned. No one gets married thinking it’s only going to last a short period of time, right?
And yet, every time things don’t go as planned I’m surprised by it. And along with the surprise comes disappointment, anger, blame, resentment, regret, and any other negative emotions you might find listed in the thesaurus. Before I know it, the 2-year old tantrum has reared its ugly head.
As always, I try to find the opportunities for growth amidst the suffering. In this case, I see two main reasons we go through this:
Reason #1 - As we feel these emotions, we are bringing them to the surface for healing. Kind of like when you have a gross whitehead on your nose. You have to pop it so the gross stuff can come out and then the zit can heal. When we let the negativity out, we can then follow it with a ton of love, which offers our inner child the healing that it is asking for.
Reason #2 - To show us that no matter how much we plan and prepare and intend and affirm, we are ultimately not in control. We are not privy to the larger meaning and purpose and timing as it pertains to the story of our Soul. We won’t know why our marriage crumbled until years later when we meet our Cinderella-style truelove, and it suddenly becomes clear. We won’t know why we ended up at a job until later when we see that because of that job, we met a person that offered us another job that turned us into a millionaire. Get what I'm saying?
Our experiences, although they may not be how we envisioned them, are all part of our Soul’s journey and every experience is valuable.
The challenge, then, is to culminate balance between hopes and dreams and non-attachment to the outcome. This is a doozy. I’ve been working on this for years and it’s still difficult. It may continue to be, and it’s actually okay, because of the reasons mentioned above. Every time I go through the pain of not getting what I want, I recover a little bit faster than before…I become more understanding and compassionate towards myself and others. I shower myself with more and more love, as I would my own child. And every time I look in the rear-view and can clearly see the purpose, I trust the Universe even more.
Nearly everyone I know is going through some type of emotional upheaval right now. There’s so much pain and suffering caused by the political climate, natural disasters, and the recent mass shooting in Las Vegas. This suffering is universal and it is touching us all. The only thing I can do is ask, “where is the opportunity for growth amidst the pain?” The best guess I have is to bring us closer to love. That’s what it all comes down to, right? Loving with such intensity that no darkness can penetrate it. It's a noble cause and one that should be at the forefront of all we do.
Sending you love and light,
PS – Sometimes going through tough emotional times can feel really lonely. Coaching can help you get through this faster and in a more beneficial way. Please feel free to contact me for support. You don’t have to go through this alone.